It’s July 1, 12:44 am and I am here trying to write a technical report on my just-concluded three months internship as an undergraduate in Computer Science. And, tbh I don’t remember the last time I have been this drained out and demotivated to do anything as I am right now.
You see, in as much as the education system of Nigeria gives us a lot of reasons to be demotivated but that’s not the point. The point is that the past months have been one of the highest moments of my life and also the most productive I have had so far in my lifetime.
The real question is not why I am feeling demotivated right now but why I was motivated all through the past months.
Without thinking too much about it it’s quite clear that the simple reason is that the WHY that drove me all through the months is stronger than the WHY for my university education(in a messed-up system).
To explain further, my simple WHY for life and work generally is to make an impact in my lifetime, although this has gotten clearer to me over a period of time this is what is currently pushing me to be exceptional and internally motivated.
But, on the other hand, the WHY for my education is my parents; I really want to make them proud. That’s all.
At this point, I am sure you get where I am going.
The WHY for my work and life is way stronger than the WHY for my university education(in a messed-up system).
The truth is this if I should drop out today, nothing would change at all, except on the path of my parents, of course. I would probably be better and have more time to focus on what I really care about.
But, I am not dropping out and haven’t even thought of it but just take this as an educative rant that spurs the question, HOW STRONG IS YOUR WHY? or better still, WHAT IS YOUR WHY?
I have come to understand that external motivation is like adrenaline and only lasts for a while.
Take, for instance, when you watch that motivational video on youtube that tells you to work hard then you immediately feel pumped up and start working your ass out, and after a while life hits you and unfortunately, you don’t have any inner defence for life’s punch. And, you probably don’t have access to that motivational content at that moment.
In fact, in most cases, you may still have access to those motivational content but they are too small to defend you from what you are facing. That’s life for you. You need something internal to drive you because if you don’t, you are only a challenge away from giving up.
Don’t get me wrong, though; motivational contents or inspiring words from others are great but you need to be motivated from the inside in order to achieve great things. You won’t always get people to talk to you and encourage you.
Thank you for reading my rant. It’s 1:43 am and I have a technical report to finish so I can graduate in peace. Lol. Bye.
This was originally on Medium